Caren Johnson Literary Agency

I’m blogging on Caridad Pineiro’s blog, all week. She’s one of my clients and writes the kinds of stories that I like to curl up on my couch and read. Caridad has been one of my clients since I first started agenting and hers was the first book I sold (two book deal, Harlequin). I like to think that I’m her #1 fan, but someone much worthier has probably claimed that spot. Anyway, I’m answering all of the publishing questions that you want to know and the first was what would make me take a closer look at a romantic suspense author? My bio states that I have an abundance of them already so I’m being more critical than I would normally be. My answer was that in order to wow me enough to ask for more, I’d want to be impressed by not only the content, but also by the pitch. Of course I wouldn’t throw you into deep waters without giving you a life jacket so below is a sample query letter (I’m making it up) that would make me sit up and take another look. I’m using Caridad’s More than a Mission book  as my pitch book.

(Sample Query Letter)

Dear Caren (or Ms. Johnson—I don’t have any preference; just get my name right and don’t address me as Sir/Madam/Literary Agent):

I have an 80K word novel called More than a Mission that I’d like to submit for your review. It’s an exciting romantic suspense novel involving spies, mistaken identity and sexy bartenders.

Elizabeth Moore’s life is like an open book; she owns and operates a trendy restaurant/bar in the small town on Leonia. She goes out with her girlfriends every Friday night. She spends the rest of her time devoted to her job. She also may be an assassin called the Sparrow. Aiden shows up on her doorstep seeking to find proof that Elizabeth isn’t the happy, lighthearted business woman everyone sees. He applies for a job as a bartender and Elizabeth hires him more for his looks than his skill. As the two circle around each other, attracted, but suspicious, things heat up with Aiden’s investigation. Suddenly it’s not just a question of is Elizabeth moonlighting as a killer-for-hire, but who wants Aiden to think this and why?

Please let me know if this is something that would interest you. The complete manuscript is available; I can send a partial or the full at your request.

All The Best,

Author X

This is the kind of query letter that perks up my interest b/c not only does it tell me the particulars of the story (genre, word count,etc.), but it gives me the bare essentials of what the story is about and leaves me wanting more. Now please, please, please don’t take this letter as a template for what your query letter should look like. The last thing I want is a hundred query letters that all look like this one. But I do want letters that make me excited about the book. I want them to be concise. No need to waste words. The best advice I’ve ever heard about describing your book is to model it after the copy found on the back cover of a paperback. It’s usually got a few sentences about the book and then it outlines the journey that the characters have to face in order to solve the mystery/get the girl/save the world. This is a winning formula and one I use when I’m pitching books to editors. Now you know all of my secrets, use them wisely.

C.